Annnnnnnd…. I’m In
I have to admit, I experienced some fleeting doubts. On the long bus ride from Narita International Airport into the city, it crossed my mind that maybe I was just running away from the challenges posed by the prospect of establishing a life in the US during a recession. Then an even more disturbing idea hit me. What if the only reason I wanted to be back in Japan was the simple fact that it was all I knew of adult life after college? That was a scary thought.
I arrived at my new home and settled in as best I could without my luggage, as it had been delayed in Chicago. My first meal was katsu curry, a rice dish with a fried pork cutlet. I mostly got it to make my friend Justin jealous, as his favorite curry place in Chicago has recently turned into a burger hut. It was an uneventful night, as I was tired and had a ton of errands to run in the morning, so I turned in and slept on top of my lonely sleeping pad without sheets or pillows.
The morning brought heavy rain, and I felt lower than on the bus ride as I sloshed my way through town in sandals that, once soaked, rubbed the insides of my feet raw and red. I got lost in Shibuya while looking for the municipal office, and finally arrived over an hour later to find that it was the wrong one, and I needed to go elsewhere. I wasn’t proper miserable, but I probably looked it. Any onlookers could be forgiven for thinking to themselves “hey, look at that dude with the too-small umbrella walking all funny in uncomfortable-looking sandals with a soaked backpack. He looks proper miserable.” It was, as my friend Shawn might say, The Suckage.
Then the sun came out. As my time in country approached 24 hours, I walked home from the (correct) municipal office having registered as a foreigner and enrolled in the national health plan, and followed a greenbelt along the river through parks and playgrounds. The river leads right by my neighborhood, which I find quaint and reassuring. I got some coffee at a nearby shop and finished the Sakura Momoko book I had been reading. I started to feel pretty calm. All the reasons I have worked hard to get back here started trickling back into my consciousness, and my sleep-deprived worries of the previous day began to fade away.
Within a few more hours, my emotions had done a 180, and I was feeling excellent about my situation. Now, five days later, the feeling that I’m precisely where I need to be hasn’t left me. I see it in the simple things, like chatting with my Japanese/Korean/Italian housemates, or strolling to the train station, and in the sense of peace that I feel now about being headed in the right direction, even though I’m not entirely sure what that direction is. When I get into bed in my tiny room, I fall straight to sleep, which is a big deal for me. It took me a year to straighten myself out and get to where I need to be, but now I’m here.